From various medievalists (only formerly in prose)...

You may very well a medievalist be
if you have a best-loved Lateran decree.
The same may be true if a one-car collision
could wipe out your whole academic division.
A giveaway token is if you add "yet"
to "I don't know that language"; you will soon, I bet.
At conferences, all other folk in your session
have made holy orders their lifelong profession.
Your second'ry sources, for some other student,
are primary sources, selected, most prudent.
You must know the truth about Arthur and Cei?
You don't? Well, why not? Please do tell me, I pray.
For you, the Americans fought revolution
for freedom, a recent and modern solution.
The Renaissance? That's just a dirty, late lie;
it's one that we all resolutely deny.
And when you've bad day, when hellbound all ways,
you can say in which infernal ring's your malaise.


For an original version, see here. It's not the sveltist collection of couplets, but I thought I put into it all the work that the project deserved.