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Fortune Cookies

I've been taking a break from editing to sort through papers. Here are a pile of cookie messages I wandered across in the process:

"Happy news is on its way to you."

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

"You will never regret the present, you will live life to its fullest!"

"An investment in enthusiasm ought to start to pay off."

"There is a true and sincere friendship between you both."

"A surprise announcement will free you."

"You have the rare ability to recognize ability in others."

"Your self-confidence shines and makes a great impression on others."

"Listen to the wisdom of the old."

"The wheel of good fortune is finally turning in your direction!" (So what is the wheel of bad fortune doing?)

"Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you."

"Seek happiness for its own sake and you will find it."

"Friends long absent are coming back to you."

"Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned."

"An empty stomach is not a good political advisor." (If only Anakin had been fed more tasty meals...)

"Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you."

"It is most enjoyable to talk with you."

"To love and win is the best thing; to love and lose, the next best."

"Plan for many pleasures ahead."

"No harm in putting all your eggs in one basket - just watch it closely."

"You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time."

"Failure is the mother of success."

"Be most affectionate today."

"The courage to be great lies deep within each of us."

"Keep it simple. The more you say, the less people remember."

"Enjoy what you have; hope for what you lack."

"The best times of your life have not yet been lived."

"You believe in the goodness of mankind."

"You are domestically inclined and will be happily married."

"A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you." (Always tomorrow, never today...)

"A lifetime of happiness lies ahead for you!"

"Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart."

"Your fastidious nature has much more fun this year!"

"Your business will assume vast proportions."

"Love truth but pardon error."

"New and rewarding opportunities will soon develop for you."

"Your life becomes more and more of an adventure!"

"Carve your name on heart and not on marble." (Ick.)

"The secret to good friends is no secret to you."

"Place special emphasis on old friendship."

"You allow a few strong instincts and a few plain rules to guide your actions."

"You are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure."

"You are a traveller at heart. There will be many journeys."

"Be careful! Straight trees often have crooked roots."

"Your heart will always make itself known through your words."

"You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home." (As long as they go away again when dinner is over...)

"You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world."

"You never know what you can do until you try."

"It's a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter."

"Ignorance never settles a question."

"Your ability to juggle many tasks will take you far." (My ability to walk will take me even further.)

"A good time to finish up old tasks."

"Pray for what you want; but work for what you need."

"Good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon."

"There is a true and sincere friendship between you both."

"Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and soul devout."

"Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded."

"This year will bring you happiness."

"You are the guiding star of his existence."

"You are about to embark on a most delightful journey!"

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
piratehead
May. 25th, 2005 02:07 am (UTC)
My favorite two favorite ever:

"You will get what you want through your personality and charm."

"You are a person of culture."
owlfish
May. 25th, 2005 02:17 am (UTC)
Those are good. So - have you gotten what you want through your personality and charm yet?

The most specific one I ever received said "You long to see the Great Pyramids in Egypt."
piratehead
May. 25th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
Those are good. So - have you gotten what you want through your personality and charm yet?

About 27% of what I want.
of_remedye
May. 25th, 2005 06:00 am (UTC)
You got a wheel of fortune fortune! ::is jealous::

I got "Your work will assume monumental proportions." Lydgatean and great for a dissertator. My all-time favourite, though, was "If you are hungry, have another fortune cookie!" ;-P
owlfish
May. 25th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
I don't know... you don't want your dissertation to be so monumental you never finish it.

The "hungry" fortune cookie is clever - but more like advice than a fortune. That's always bothered me about fortune cookies: so many of them don't offer fortunes at all.
saffronjan
May. 25th, 2005 11:34 am (UTC)
Worst fortune ever
I once actually got a fortune cookie fortune that said "Attach paperwork to avoid getting bogged down". I believe its in one of the storage thingies in Ithaca.

owlfish
May. 25th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Worst fortune ever
I'm sorry. That's almost depressing. Anyways, how do you make the paperwork all fit into the cookie?
henchminion
May. 25th, 2005 04:56 pm (UTC)
My favourite fortune cookie said "Beware of cookies bearing fortunes."
owlfish
May. 25th, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
Very wise.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )